Something That Was Keeping Me Up

Now, I’m going to preface this by declaring that I don’t purposefully set out to target atheists but I have the most questions about them because a lot of their world seems to be so far askew of logic, yet they seem to revel in believing themselves superior of intellect of those that are religious in some way, often combatively so.  I don’t care if you are religious or not, honestly.  Do whatever makes you happy.  Yes, both camps can decide their hyperbole, be it about abuse or rape or whatever disgusting, dark place your mind decides it wants to go to and get back to me later.  I’m here to ask the atheists a question that wouldn’t leave my brain, and I’m asking them because they seem more willing to give answers that aren’t simply some hand wave of a Jedi mind trick.  So, without further ado, here is that question:

Are hope and prayer not the same thing?

On the surface, this question seems a bit aping, trite and silly.  Well, one might say, hoping is a bit more realistic because it gives way for failure whereas prayer is putting one’s stringent, unswaying belief in a munificent being.  But I’m not sure anyone can honestly be so foolish to assume that if you believe in something it will happen at all costs.  There is always room for failure.  But you have to dig a bit deeper, and to do that you have to begin at the surface.  At what the words themselves mean.

Wish.  Pray.  Hope.  These words, all three of them, mean the exact same thing.  They are all synonyms of each other, thus, they convey the same idea.  But only the one in the middle.  The one with some sort of ridiculous religious connotation would be considered taboo among the most steadfast of the non-religious sect.  And I can’t wrap my head around why, mostly because those that don’t hold a faith still wish and hope for things.  Most of the time they wish and hope for things they can’t control, which is what a religious person might pray for: That a sickness be healed, that a couple has a healthy child, that someone passes their class of choice.  You can hope or pray for these things, but only one will get you lambasted or defamed in certain sects of the public.  Is it really okay to be afraid of a word that holds the same merits and ideas as two others you may deem totally acceptable just because someone chose to align it with something you disagree with?  And yes, I know that we can run the parallel with other words that discredit an entire race, or sex, or anything else.  That’s what I’m trying to do, I’m trying to figure out the offense because I don’t understand.  I’m not trying to raise hell or condemn or whatever else you may think from these words, I simply wish to hear why someone would be taken aback by something that is meant to be positive on your behalf.

I know quite a few atheists that hinge their entire being on the solidarity of science.  But I also know that they hope and wish for things because they are human.  They want to have good things happen to people.  They want good things to happen to them and try to imagine them and want them and that’s fine.  But the issue at hand is that none of those ideas are scientifically sound.  When science deals with uncertainties it does so with theories and hypothesis and does so with pretty exacting language.  “This will work because such a reaction occurs.” or however else you wish to run your idea.  If you were working with the certainties of science while dealing with the desires of humanity, by logic you would either have to say that you will or won’t succeed and there is no gray area to it.  If dealing with certainties there is no try, only do.

Those three ideas are dealing with the uncertainties of the future, the unpredictable things that happen to all of us, and our desire to want to get out of those situations.  Wanting the positive, idealistic possibilities within the sphere of outcomes that is the future is, by definition, hopeful.  To be optimistic you have to wish for the best.  You have to.  There isn’t a second road to optimism.  To be optimistic you have to believe in something, be it a bearded man flying around on a cloud, to believing in someone close to you, to believing in a second chance at life, to just believing in yourself.

We are all the same.  All of us.  We are not right, nor are we wrong, we are all just being.  We all believe in something, so why does the method in which we do so cause such rifts between us?  Why should any of us cause contention or disorder and bring ire to other people that are just like us because they think something different?

Everyone:  It’s time to grow up!  Accept that there are some people out there that don’t agree with us, that will never agree with us, and accept that as a fact and move on.  Don’t dwell on the negatives.  Don’t stop at the differences.  Find the similarities and build upon that.  It’s time for us to stop defeating ourselves and others with paranoia, with delusions of grandeur, with superiority, with castes and segregation and gentry.  We can change.  We can make things better.

We can improve the world for those that come after us, learn from our mistakes and nurture their successes.  We need to believe again.

We need to believe in each other.


Another Thing I Wrote To Some Simp On Copyrights

Materials cost money, no matter what, and most people will opt to recoup the cost of their investments. Besides, tell that to the creators, showrunners and producers of television or movies or music. They may love doing what they do, but want to advertise it, or have a mixer that knows what they’re doing, or actors that aren’t awful at their jobs. That costs money. People often lend up their expertise at a craft in exchange for being paid.

It’s like… the people in favor of piracy assume that the only people that are getting paid is the person whose brain it came out of and these avaricious demons in giant buildings. How about the engineer in the recording studio, or even the person who built that hundred thousand dollar studio, or the guy holding the boom mic that gets paid minimum wage, you’d be taking away his job, or the grip, or the gaffer, or the writers, or the photog, all the cogs that work on that shit just as hard as the motherfuckers that get put up on the marquee.

Trust me on this. I’ve fucking been there.

If a TV show doesn’t do well in advertising money as figured out through the draconian Nielsen rating system here in the states, it gets cancelled, those people can be out of work for a long, long time, which sucks because the internet can be just as good and is honestly the future that TV is afraid of, they should embrace such a delivery system, because they can sell ad space through the streaming websites and get revenue and whatever, but people don’t even want to look at advertisements anymore.

Like, what do you assholes want to do in exchange for entertainment? Nothing? Tell me how that’s even fair? And that’s not considering that this current system is broken and archaic and stupid, it’s the current delivery system we’re under until someone makes a better one. We can’t make a better system by dismantling this one by not spending money for thirty fucking days, hell, even pirating it for a few years is a drop in the goddamn bucket and is negligible. What we need to do, as denizens of the internet, is get together and create a different deliver system that everyone in the business barring the RIAA, MPAA or any of those entities can get behind, and support, and still maintain with some integrity.

It’s not the spending of money that’s the issue, it’s spending it in the wrong fucking places. You’re on the internet, everyone is on here, everyone would like more fairness, find them, find the people that can do something and fix the issue rather than exacerbating it by doing some kind of ridiculous piracyfest that might serve to levy more bills against internet distribution. There are people that can change this with enough discussion.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is, yeah, music is easy enough to self-distribute, but if you can’t advertise, even on the internet, it won’t reach a lot of people as word of mouth can only go so far. Writing is also easy enough to self-distribute, but the same problem arises, and don’t even get me started on publication costs if you want to release a physical book. For TV or Movies? It’s nearly impossible to make something yourself and get paid for it. But it all points back to the same solution, if you don’t like how things currently work, move to fix the problems, don’t make them worse by doing stupid shit that makes it look like a bunch of the people that use the internet are thankless clods. That’s not going to get us anywhere. Piracy is enough of a problem since it’s a hot button issue, and that shows a lot of people are paying attention to it, but you’re not understanding that it’s viewed as problem. And, really, do you want to turn a problem into a bigger problem that pushes a awful, disgusting bill into ratification?

A Thing I Wrote To Some Simp About Copyrights

I sincerely apologize for castigating The Black March movement as a means that is idiotic, the people that think pirating intellectual property is the penguin’s balls and for taking a stance on something. I honestly rarely have passion for anything, and that terrifies me, and it makes me envious of people that do. But if you can honestly say that pirating software, movies, games, et al. is the best thing around and paying money for entertainment is bullshit then you’re an entitled child that really doesn’t deserve anything. Every time I’ve attempted to pirate something that wouldn’t be impossible to get otherwise, my scruples make me feel like a complete pile of shit and I hate myself for it. I, for some reason, still don’t have a legal copy of Band of Horses’ Everything All The Time and I feel like a moron because of it. I’ve had it for at least two years.

But, to me, that exemplifies the reason no one really supports the arts anymore, there’s no appreciation for them. And there’s no appreciation for the work that goes into the creative process. I can assure you that the people that steal this shit don’t send a message of thanks when they steal it and they clearly don’t spend money on it.  You don’t support the artist just by having their crap, so there’s no visible appreciation for it.  That shows how greedy, spoiled and shitty that section of the audience is, and as someone who has been generating content that is free for about a decade now, that people can, and have been able to, download at their leisure and that I make for the love of the process and the arts, all I can get is appreciation,  but if I didn’t know if I was entertaining anyone, which is the ultimate goal, then what’s the point of continuing?

So, it’s kind of a sore topic with me, and people trivializing that with their bullshit makes them a shitty person. Stealing the hard work of someone else and giving nothing back makes them a shitty person. And bragging about trivializing the work of someone else, then stealing it and saying there’s nothing wrong with it makes them a genuinely shitty person. And it’s good that they can live with themselves, I guess.  They can keep chasing that rainbow of antipathy towards everyone and resume their petty theft.

That’s the thing that pisses me off the most. People think all these artists or directors or writers or musicians see these numbers and go “Awesome, money!” But it can’t just be that. Every sale, every viewing, every unit moved means that many people enjoyed their product, that many people appreciated the work that they did. It’s not just the money.  It’s people showing the creators that they fucking give a shit about the output of the creative community. You sell 10,000 albums, move most tickets from 300 capacity venues on a tour, or, hell, get a few thousand hits on a streaming website of a new song or demo or whatever, do you know how awesome that has to feel?

A few weeks ago I was helping tear down the set for a concert at the town college’s auditorium. It was a show put on by Richard Marx. How many people know who that is without looking it up? It doesn’t matter. It was a 1700 seat theater and there were so many asses in those seats that it had to be close to selling out. The last song he played was his most famous song, and at the last chorus, he was basically like “sing along with me, dawgs”. Over a thousand people sang with him.  I was amazed. Because what he felt at that moment, regardless of if he was doing it in the middle of bumblefuck nowhere, or at Carnegie Hall, a thousand people gave a shit, by paying their money in appreciation, which he even noted before he finished the set, that our country has a messed up problem with its economy, and the people that were watching him at that moment came out and supported him and that it meant a whole lot to him. He appreciated his audience for showing up and being there for him to perform to.

So the next time you feel like pirating that shit, you’re taking that feeling away from somebody. So, go ahead and be selfish and continue not giving a shit about anyone but yourself, I’m sure that’s been working out just fine.

What 2011 Meant To Me

2011 was a load of shit.

Like, seriously, no question about it.

It started off pretty awesome, but around, like, May or June everything kind of pivoted on its heel and gave me a pretty awesome high kick to the jaw.  I mean, as amazingly productive as I was this year (some of it unfulfilled or entirely worthless) it was still a fairly lackluster experience, and may go down as probably one of the worst years come to pass since 1957.  That’s an arbitrary number, don’t think about it too hard.

I mean, yes, all the praise that I’ve gotten for the podcast, or my music, or my writing, or whatever, that’s great and everything, but it doesn’t really amount to something that I’ve lost that’s about a million times more important than any of that.

I’ve lost faith in a lot of people that were close to me.  Clearly, that’s what most of these blog entries were about.  It’s pretty much the most soul crushing realization of my life.  I’m pretty fastidious in my resolve to let bygones be bygones, allowing others to be themselves and all that other malarkey, but even then, there’s a goddamned limit.  As of midnight last night I’m done dealing with the sociopaths, the greedy, the needy, the liars, the sneaks, the backstabbers and the ne’er-do-wells.

“Well, there goes all of humanity,” you might say.  And fuck you.  You’re an idiot and one of the people I’m trying to distance myself from due to your unnecessarily malevolent jackassery.

I not only learned that I’ve lost faith in a bunch of conceited jerkoffs, but I’ve learned that I’m not 100% like my father or 100% like my mother.  I’m the worst combination of the two that could have possibly erupted into this world in a sticky mass of blood and afterbirth.  So here’s the scoop:

I am antisocial, yet quick to trust.

It takes a lot for me to dislike someone, even if I know they’re worthless and gross and terrible, but once I’ve harnessed that despondence of your character, you’re pretty much done and, if it can be achieved, I will not want anything to do with you ever again.

I am an angry, spiteful individual, but I can use it for humor.  Humor that I control to make others happy and make them smile because that’s my true passion.

People like me, but I don’t understand why.

I fear everything and everyone, yet I love everything and everyone.

I am simple, yet complex.

I am self-disparaging, as I am incapable of doing anything of substance, but a real cheerleader because for anyone else, anything is possible.

Should I change this behavior?  I don’t think so.  I like who I am, and I like what this has made me.  I am a supporter.  I am analytical.  I am a thinker.  I am a creator.  These quirks help me in those fields and regularly help enhance the things I do.

If there is any justice in Cosmic Law, I will be able to cull these abilities, these traits, and make them stronger and more fluid.

That is my goal for the year ahead.

A goal I plan to achieve.

The Hiatus

Due to having run out of things to complain about at this juncture, I am going to take a break on the writing until I’ve amassed a decent amount of material.  I don’t expect this to happen anytime soon, not that it particularly matters.  Updates will be sporadic, at best, and hopefully not just a bunch of droning on and on about depressing and awful things, though it’s really the only kind of writing I am proficient at.  Time will tell, though, if current trends improve.

But, as it stands, this place will be devoid of future content.  Until next time.

Bubble World

And people wonder why stupid teenagers think the planet revolves around them.  Really?  Well, let’s break it the fuck down.  Due to their little social bubble world, all they have to do is call someone up and, in most cases, they are given immediate attention.  They go on the internet and can see an entire screen dedicated to them.  Everything moves toward them, everything involves them, and they don’t have to deal with any external force if they don’t want to because they can stare at a screen and stick sound filters in their ears and condense everything into three to five letters and surround themselves with bullshit that they identify with, that labels them, that has everything to do with the self and nothing to do with anyone else.  That sense of immediacy and the ignorance sphere is what made them entitled and stupid.  It’s really everyone’s fault because it takes a village to raise a child.  We gave them the world in pog form, and they made it a World of Self, it ruined their sense of shame, their idea of patience and any notion of modesty.

So maybe next time we can dial it back, maybe mete out the rewards, reinstate the waiting game.  Something.  Anything.  Because we have to fix this impossibly huge fuck up somehow.


I just had an interesting conversation about cell-type phonulars.  Like, I don’t get it, why are they suddenly so important to the health and well-being of society when there are about a billion other ways to get in contact with someone due to the persistent connection nature of the here and now, but cell-type phonulars are still exceedingly prevalent, in some situations completely replacing all human contact with a simulacrum of the conventional conversation.

I hear people say at times that it’s easier to lie on the phone than in real life, and, yeah, I guess that’s awesome?  I don’t really know if anyone else can feel that rumbling of uncertainty, but that seems to bode incredibly ill for the future of society at large.  Like, are we intentionally reverting back to tribalism?  There seems to be an increasing number of idiots that are errant sociopaths (as opposed to the corollary?), liars and, for a rare lack of better words, genuine nogoodniks.  I’m not blaming the portable electrical speech machine on this trend, but from personal experience and examination, it does seem to breed apathy, ignorance and spite.  Everyone seems to have turned into Janus.  Yes, that’s rather esoteric, but I do that.

So I got to thinking, it’d be an interesting and probably fruitful social experiment to just have everyone rid themselves of these devices to try and break that dependency.  To see what happens to us when it is taken away.  Will we have more to talk about?  More to experience?  Will human contact cease being gauche and once again become the preferred modus communicandi?  It’s an interesting thought to me, mostly because I think it would be jarring to see the gnashing and wailing of the public at large.

This all comes up because phone plans are goddamned expensive and they have no reason to be.  Someone, who is a genius businessperson, decided that data, which is not a physical thing and is as old as relayed information itself, can be charged and paid for.  I hate that person.  I hate them a lot.  They are pretty much the big reason why talking to people via technologically assisted telepathy is currently so ridiculously expensive.  I mean, it’s not just limited to this field, clearly, as internet service providers, just to name one, work with a similar model, but of course, with our need of immediacy and our world filled with children, some actually children, some just developmentally equal, that require instant gratification, we have started paying for these luxuries, and yes they are clearly luxuries, hand over fist and treating them as necessities.

Sorry, but you can wait to talk to your BFF Jill a couple more hours.  Whatever inane thought just went through your stupid head doesn’t need to be exported in verbal form OMGRIGHTNOW.  We need to reinstate patience as an important and necessary thing, because it has been gone for a long, long time.  I, myself, am guilty of some impatience, but knock it off.  There are few things in the world that are so important that it can’t wait.

I’ll get into this more later.