We put onto that phrase a lot of negative weight. Giving up means that you quit, right? And nobody likes a quitter. But I think that most of us have quit far more than we’ve ever stuck through with something, and many, many more times than we’ve succeeded. It’s just kind of something that happens. Failure kind of defies the law of averages.
In a lot of ways, this month has been the time where I cut off things that no longer bring me joy, or just aren’t worth the effort for the upkeep. Before this month, and especially during 2011-2016, I had many hobbies going concurrently that used up basically all of my free time: I made music, recorded a podcast with my friend Ian, and there’s a video game show that me and my wife Ashley put up on Youtube. Hell, I was even doing a regular blog there for a while just for kicks and giggles. For the podcast and video game thing I did all of the post-prod, the uploading, and the social media stuff. There was even a point where episodes of the podcast and some music tracks were uploaded to Youtube, not that anyone noticed, or cared, and that’s perfectly fine. Anecdotally, I think one person mentioned when the Ragecast twitter account went down and over the last week and a half the website has been down completely, though the web host is currently working on getting it back up in case anyone wants to download any episodes they like for whatever reason, but the auto-renew was just shut off so it’ll be down and out this coming March. On the 7th to be exact.
The reason I did all of these things is because that’s the kind of stuff a creative homebody does. Making stupid crap on the internet felt to me the same way a night out on the town with friends feels to other people, it shut my brain off and eventually became an addiction. After too long the blog wasn’t enough so along came a podcast, and that wasn’t enough so I made music, and so on until I was editing other people’s podcasts, or doing image manipulation for scanned comics to be used on translations, and then NaNoWriMo, and then Inktober. At this point I believe it’s hit critical mass and almost all of it needs to be shut down. Part of it is that I’m spending more time worrying about these ephemeral statistical things rather than focusing on actually creating stuff, and the other part is the time component.
Many of you may know that I’ve gotten a new job that requires an hour commute each way, which means I wake up around 6:30 AM my time to leave at 7:00 AM, and sometimes I am not back until around 6:00 to 6:30 PM depending on how the traffic is on the way home. This basically means that around 12 hours of any given day is spent away from home, and the remaining 3 to 4 hours would have been used up on worrying about metrics and numbers and whatever else goes into the production of these stupid little hobbies. I’d rather spend that time doing anything else.
So what was this gigantic screed really for? Well, some of you may know that last week I liquidated my music presence online. If you see anything that looks remotely like Embol Music or something of the sort, please try to get it taken down, especially if they are charging for it. Ragecast is also coming to a close, I’ve just informed Ian and he cried a bit, it’s okay to do that. This shouldn’t be that big of a surprise, since the last episode was release something like two and a half years ago. Lastly I am putting the video game thing that I do on Youtube with Ashley on hiatus, effective immediately, it has become too much of a hassle to keep up on at this time and the results has not been worth the effort that has been put into it. There also need to be significant changes done to the formula to make this thing stand out more, there are severe weaknesses in the core of the show and those need to be addressed. The final episode of Player 2 for the year will be up on the 3rd of November. There is no real schedule for a return at this time.
Look, I’ve been making junk on the internet since my family got it. My first internet friend I made was because of a horrible webcomic I did, and some of the stuff I uploaded to starmen.net almost half a lifetime ago is still up, although I sincerely hope it isn’t. Ending long-running stuff like this isn’t easy, unless you don’t care about it, and the problem with all of this is the opposite. I care way too much about this crap that it became a severe detriment to my mental well-being. And none of this is worth that. Not a lot of things are. So am I ending most of them to spend some more quiet time with myself.
We’ll see what comes from all of this. Thank you for reading, and take care of yourself and your loved ones.